Saturday, August 25, 2007
60 Foot Backyard Slide
60 Foot Backyard Slide - Watch more free videos
Now Thats A Gun
Now Thats A Gun - Watch more free videos
Still More Funny Headlines
- New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
- Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
- Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
United States of America, and our Taxes...
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these words
Upon his tomb,
" Taxes drove me to my doom..."
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
===================================
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What the hell happened? Can you spell "politicians!"
Friday, August 24, 2007
Text-messager fails to see train
Zachariah Smith, 18, waited until a southbound CSX train passed, The Cincinnati Enquirer reported. He did not notice the northbound Norfolk Southern train passing by immediately afterward.
Smith was struck by the second train and was seriously injured.
Elmwood Place Mayor Richard Ellison said he arrived at the scene immediately after the accident and talked to three of the five people who saw it. They said the engineer was "blowing his horn like mad" when he saw the young man.
"The only way the train could have missed him was if it could make a turn," Ellison said.
The lights and gates at the crossing were in working order, witnesses said.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
So you think your boss is bad?
Well, that's the workplace tale of woe a help-desk employee submitted to the second annual AFL-CIO "My Bad Boss" contest. It was good enough to win "Steaming Mad" the "Most Outrageous Story" grand prize Tuesday, the Los Angeles Times reported.
But even that would have to take second place to a worker -- pseudonym Pete Yonski -- who said he has cancer yet his heartless boss threw away his disability benefits paperwork.
Salving those jaw-dropping job wounds a bit were the prizes they won: a week-long condo vacation and $1,000 toward airfare for the cancer patient and a week at the Royal Hotel Vegas and $500 in airfare for the guy who worked in the hot seat.
Six runners-up get "Bad Boss Survival Kits" -- earplugs to tune out yelling bosses and "The Very Best of Aretha Franklin" CD featuring her hit song "Respect."
"While this contest is partly a fun way to vent, it also shines a not-very-flattering light on the American workplace," said Karen Nussbaum, executive director of the union's Working America lobbying arm.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Survey: Bad bosses rewarded
Researchers from Bond University in Australia, who presented their findings at the Academy of Management's annual meeting in Philadelphia this month, said 45 percent of workers surveyed reported having had a particularly "bad leader" as a boss who nevertheless was promoted. Another 19 percent said bad bosses suffered no negative ramifications for their lack of leadership ability and only 13 percent were weeded out of the organization, Human Resources Executive Online reports.
The academic researchers found the results "remarkably disturbing."
Their online survey of 240 Americans and Australians was part of a larger study that showed one-third of those surveyed reported that working for bad bosses caused them stress, fatigue, insomnia and bad dreams.
The results came as no surprise to John Hoover, who wrote "How to Work for an Idiot: Survive and Thrive Without Killing Your Boss."
"The more incompetent someone is, the faster their career takes off," Hoover said.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Opps...
I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. This actually happened in Austin at MoPac Boulevard and Parmer Lane.
===============================================================
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free."
"They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free lattes and I walked out the door.
Even More Funny Headlines
- Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Teachers Strike Idle Kids
- Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
- Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Miners Refuse To Work After Death
- Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
- Stolen Painting Found By Tree
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
Big Guy Ruins Summer
Big Guy Ruins Summer - Watch more free videos
Co-Worker Car Prank
Co-Worker Car Prank - Watch more free videos
Car Blows Red Light And Crushes Biker
Car Blows Red Light And Crushes Biker - Watch more free videos
Humvee Driving In Iraqi Traffic
Humvee Driving In Iraqi Traffic - Watch more free videos
How Not To Avoid Tough Questions
How Not To Avoid Tough Questions - Watch more free videos
Cat saves owner, dies in fire
Investigators said the cat woke its owner and brought attention to the flames making their way into the home after the fire erupted around 3 a.m. Monday at the Capri Mobile Home Park, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Monday.
Two homes were severely burned by the blaze and one other sustained lighter damage. There were no casualties reported other than the feline.
The American Red Cross was called in Monday to assist mobile home residents displaced by the fire.
The cause of the blaze is under investigation.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Even More Funny Headlines
- Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
- Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
- War Dims Hope For Peace
- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
- Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
Camel kills woman
The 10-month-old male camel, a present for the woman's 60th birthday, knocked her down, laid on her and exhibited mating behavior, said police, noting the animal nearly killed the family's pet goat by straddling it on several occasions.
The woman, whose name was not released, died Saturday at her family's sheep and cattle ranch near Mitchell, west of Brisbane, west of Brisbane, The Sunday Mail reported.
The fate of the camel was not known, the British newspaper reported.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Funny Headlines
- Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
- Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
- Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
What I Think of TV News
A local news team confronts a man who is accused of assaulting his 79 year old mother and he in turns respectfully demonstrates his opinion of TV news.
What I Think of TV News - Watch more free videos
Forced to move?
When students tried to move into their off-campus apartments Monday at University Crossing, they said they found mildew, outlets with missing covers and a dirty kitchen minus all it's appliances.
Some USF students say they're being forced at the last minute to move into hotel rooms instead of their apartments.
The appliances were still in boxes on the front lawn. "I had a key for a door that wasn't there, a door knob," said USF student Marleena Paul. "So, I walked in and I see that the kitchen, there's no appliances, anything. It's very dirty, rusty, mildew everywhere."
The manager blames the problems on a major renovation that did not get done in time.
"We care about our residents, we care about our property and once it is all worked out and fixed, I'm sure our residents will be happy to be living here," said apartment manager Nicole Garafolo.
Garafolo says they're going to pay back students who have to spend money on hotels or temporary housing.
Awesome 4x4 Waverunner
Awesome 4x4 Waverunner - Watch more free videos
DirecTV and Comcast in Lawsuit Over Ads
Comcast asked the court in July for a preliminary injunction and both companies are suing each other, each claiming the other has flawed data and/or otherwise faulty market research results.
According to a report on TheDay.com, District Court Judge John F. Grady in Chicago said in an order Wednesday that, pending trial, DirecTV must stop using ads in any Comcast territory that tout the installers' survey from last December as well as the April 2006 TNS Consumer Survey.
The judge did allow Comcast to continue running its HDTV ads publicizing a survey in which satellite TV customers said they preferred Comcast's HD picture quality over satellite TV's. He also ordered Comcast to post a $500,000 bond.
DirecTV said in a statement that it was “perplexed” by the court's order.
Heck, we're perplexed by the order. What facts, we wonder, was the judge even privy to that guided his decision, and if Comcast was justified in its statements, then why the $500,000 bond. It has been our experience that HD on CableTV is typically better than satellite, however that's like saying that Chartreuse is slightly less of a girly color than Puce. They both pretty much choke the bandwidth down to barely-tolerable levels.
DirecTV said it has already stopped running the ads.
Comcast said in a statement that it is pleased the judge stopped DirecTV from publicizing “false and misleading ads claiming superior picture quality over cable.” They further said that “The court's order confirms, once again, that DirecTV's claims are unsubstantiated and based on flawed and unreliable studies.”
Let's hope that the future sees both companies spending more time improving their respective networks and less time suing and counter-suing each other. If so, then consumers will be impervious to false advertising regarding quality. As it stands now, blocky transitions and horrific deinterlacing issues appear to be the norm for both providers.
Biker Outruns Cops On Highway
Biker Outruns Cops On Highway - Watch more free videos
Crime Scene Investigator Busted
Crime Scene Investigator Busted - Watch more free videos
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Forbes List The Top, “Hip Hop Cash Kings”
Jay-Z - 34 million
50 Cent- 32 Million
Diddy -28 Million
Timbaland - 21 million
Dr.Dre - 20 million
Eminem - 18 million
Pharrell/Snoop Dogg/ Scott Storch - 17 million
Chamillionaire/ The Game - 11 million
September Hip-Hop Releases
Here are the scheduled Hip-Hop releases for September:
September 4, 2007
Wu-Tang Clan - 8 Diagrams
Master P & Romeo - Hip-Hop History
September 11, 2007
Kanye West - Graduation
50 Cent - Curtis
September 18, 2007
Eve - Here I Am
Chamillionaire - Ultimate Victory
Small World - World Premiere
Disturbing Tha Peace - Strength in Numbers
Havoc - The Kush
September 25, 2007
Trae - Life Goes On
Beanie Sigel - The Solution
Ja Rule - The Mirror
Daughter's Birthday
He remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson,
"How much is the Barbie in the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have:
Work out Barbie for $19.95
Shopping Barbie for $19.95
Beach Barbie for $19.95
Disco Barbie for $19.95
Divorced Barbie for $265.95
The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie
$265.95 and the others only $19..95?"
The salesperson annoyingly answers:
"Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture,
Ken's Computer and...One of Ken's Friends."
Monday, August 20, 2007
Dumb Woman Crashes Shelby Cobra
Dumb Woman Crashes Shelby Cobra - Watch more free videos
Mom Tells James No More World Of Warcraft
Mom Tells Kid No More World Of Warcraft - Watch more free videos
The Ultimate Office Prank
The Ultimate Office Prank - Watch more free videos
UPS Driver Tosses Glass Package
UPS Driver Tosses Glass Package - Watch more free videos
Robbers had heist down to smallest detail
The Orange County (Calif.) Register said Wednesday the two men not only had the uniforms typically used by the regular armored car drivers, but had the correct labels on their vehicle when they arrived at a money-transfer shop in Westminster, Calif.
The two men had even come to the shop on the regular day for the business' money pick-up, only a bit earlier then usual.
Police said the men collected $405,000 from the site before leaving and it wasn't until the actual armored car guards arrived that the entire scam became apparent.
Officer Van Woodson of the Westminster Police Department could only remark at how aggressive and confident the two at-large criminals had been during Tuesday's theft.
"It really took a lot of nerve," he told the Register. "These guys just went in there, said 'hi, we're here.' They took the money, and left."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Driver a little bit too late for brake job
The unidentified driver admitted that while going to the service center, the car's brakes stopped working and he sped through the front window of the business, the Longview (Wash.) Daily-News reported Wednesday.
Longview patrolman Erik Hendrickson said the force of the impact was so strong a large portion of the car wound up inside the building.
"The entire hood went into the store. Six or eight feet of the car was inside the store," Hendrickson said.
While the driver sent the car to another facility for repair following Monday's crash, the manager of the damaged center noted how the same thing had happened twice before.
"It's pretty much the same spot, too," manager Ken Millus told the newspaper. "When you hear it, you're not even surprised anymore."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Phone Sex In An Elevator
What would you do if your co-worker walked into the elevator and started having extreme phone sex with his girlfriend?
Phone Sex In An Elevator - Watch more free videos
Girls Having Fun With Dry Ice
Laser Flashlight Hack!
Jacobs Ladder Optical Illusion Toy
Bomb Frag Almost Takes Out Cameraman
Bomb Frag Almost Takes Out Cameraman - Watch more free videos
Little Guy Wins Fight
Little Guy Wins Fight - Watch more free videos
An Amazing Hand Of Poker
An Amazing Hand Of Poker - Watch more free videos
Sonic Boom From Explosion
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Funny Ikea Ad :: The Perfect Mom
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Amazing Parking Job
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German Driver Misses Exit
German Driver Misses Exit - Watch more free videos
Special Message From Coca Cola
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Japanese Public Pool
Japanese Public Pool - Watch more free videos
Bully Gets Dropped
Bully Gets Dropped - Watch more free videos
Dog Plays Wii Tennis
Dog Plays Wii Tennis - Watch more free videos
Fired Teacher Flips Out In Cafeteria
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