Headlines from the Year 2029

• Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia (formerly California).
• White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
• spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
• Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
• Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq , Afghanistan , Syria and Lebanon ).
• Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
• Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
• 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
• Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
• New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
• IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
• Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.