Dear Mother and Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down... Okay?
Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get three headaches a day.
Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.
Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking daily.
I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambtious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know you expressed tolerence will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good, too for I am told that his father is an important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which he comes.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have syphillis and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a "D" in History and an "F" in Science, and I wanted you to see these marks in the proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
~Kim
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Opps, Sorry!
To my darling husband
Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not to bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.
I am really sorry but I know with your kind hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweet heart.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
XXX
Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not to bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.
I am really sorry but I know with your kind hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweet heart.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
XXX
Friday, March 30, 2007
Iomega announces Power Pro Desktop Hard Drive with 2TB of storage
If your current drives are just stuffed the the gills with 10 megapixel photos you never re sized and episodes of Still Standing that you forgot to erase, Iomega's got a new RAID array that will bulk up your storage by two terabytes and let you continue living your carefree, digital pack rat lifestyle. With four independent, lockable 500GB drives, though, you could just as easily shift the Power Pro Desktop Hard Drive into RAID 1 and make sure that your 1TB of never-used files are doubly secure; RAID status plus free space, fan speed, and temperature are all displayed on the built-in LED. Connectivity options are also plentiful here, with the PPDHD offering both the 400 and 800 flavors of Firewire and, of course, USB 2.0 as well. Mac and Windows compatible, this one will set you back $1,700 when it hits on April 10th.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
FoxyTunes Planet by Rick Broida from LifeHacker.Com
Love music? FoxyTunes Planet serves up bios, photos, videos and more for your favorite artists.
Just search for an artist (or browse by genres) and FoxyTunes Planet delivers a page of widgets: downloads from iTunes, lyrics from LyricWiki, photos from Flickr, videos from YouTube, streaming tracks from Last.fm and Pandora, search results from Google and so on. You can customize the page by adding or removing widgets and dragging them around. Indeed, it's not unlike the Google Personalized Homepage, but with a music slant. The site remembers your layout and widget selections from one session to the next.
One of the big perks is sharing: You can e-mail any artist page to friends, and they can view it in their browser same as you. There's no special software required (like when you share from, say, iTunes or Rhapsody). FoxyTunes Planet also integrates beautifully with the beloved Firefox plug-in FoxyTunes: Just click a button to see the FoxyTunes Planet page for the artist that's currently playing. If you have even the slightest interest in music, you'll definitely want to visit this Planet. — Rick Broida
FoxyTunes Planet
Just search for an artist (or browse by genres) and FoxyTunes Planet delivers a page of widgets: downloads from iTunes, lyrics from LyricWiki, photos from Flickr, videos from YouTube, streaming tracks from Last.fm and Pandora, search results from Google and so on. You can customize the page by adding or removing widgets and dragging them around. Indeed, it's not unlike the Google Personalized Homepage, but with a music slant. The site remembers your layout and widget selections from one session to the next.
One of the big perks is sharing: You can e-mail any artist page to friends, and they can view it in their browser same as you. There's no special software required (like when you share from, say, iTunes or Rhapsody). FoxyTunes Planet also integrates beautifully with the beloved Firefox plug-in FoxyTunes: Just click a button to see the FoxyTunes Planet page for the artist that's currently playing. If you have even the slightest interest in music, you'll definitely want to visit this Planet. — Rick Broida
FoxyTunes Planet
WTF is this: MC Karl Rove
This guy is Deputy Chief of Staff to President George W. Bush. What the fuk are they doing? See, I dont understand this shyt right here, they criticize Hip Hop music so much but then they go & try to rap!!!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Grand Canyon Skywalk
Perhaps some of you have heard of the Grand Canyons new Skywalk which is a glass bridge suspended 4000 feet above the canyon in a horseshoe shape. What do you think? Would you walk out on it? Can someone take some footage from the skywalk itself?
Grand Canyon Skywalk - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
Grand Canyon Skywalk - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
World’s tallest man gets married
Bride is more than 2 feet shorter than China's Bao Xishun
BEIJING - The world’s tallest man has married a woman who is more than 2 feet shorter than him, a Chinese newspaper reported Wednesday.
BEIJING - The world’s tallest man has married a woman who is more than 2 feet shorter than him, a Chinese newspaper reported Wednesday. Bao Xishun, a 7-foot-9 herdsman from Inner Mongolia, married 5-foot-6 saleswoman Xia Shujian several days ago, the Beijing New reported.
Bao’s 28-year-old bride is half his age and hailed from his hometown of Chifeng even though marriage advertisements were sent around the world, it said.
“After a long and careful selection, the effort has been finally paid off,” the newspaper said.Bao was confirmed last year by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s tallest person.
He was in the news in December after he used his long arms to save two dolphins by pulling out plastic from their stomachs.
The dolphins got sick after nibbling on plastic from the edge of their pool at an aquarium in Liaoning province. Attempts to use surgical instruments to remove the plastic failed because the dolphins’ stomachs contracted in response to the instruments, Chinese media reported.
Mouse steals captor's dentures
WATERVILLE, Maine (UPI) -- A Maine man has his teeth back after ripping open a wall in his home to pull them out from where a mouse with Houdini-like escape skills had hidden them.
Bill Exner, 68, of Waterville, Maine, said he caught the little rodent on three separate occasions with a live trap and had placed it in a gallon pickle jar but it kept getting away even after he put a lid on it, the Waterville Morning Sentinel reported.
After his last escape, the mouse apparently decided to grab Exner's lower dentures from his bedroom. Exner found an opening in the wall and guessed the "little stinker" was using it. So he called his daughter's fiance, who came over with a crowbar, saw and hammer and went to work.
"The dentures were inside the wall, lying right there," Exner told the newspaper. "The mouse didn't bite them or anything. It's like he was saying 'I'm going to get even with you for putting me in that jar.'"
Exner cleaned them up and, "I've got 'em right in my mouth and that's where they're staying."
The mouse remained at large.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Bill Exner, 68, of Waterville, Maine, said he caught the little rodent on three separate occasions with a live trap and had placed it in a gallon pickle jar but it kept getting away even after he put a lid on it, the Waterville Morning Sentinel reported.
After his last escape, the mouse apparently decided to grab Exner's lower dentures from his bedroom. Exner found an opening in the wall and guessed the "little stinker" was using it. So he called his daughter's fiance, who came over with a crowbar, saw and hammer and went to work.
"The dentures were inside the wall, lying right there," Exner told the newspaper. "The mouse didn't bite them or anything. It's like he was saying 'I'm going to get even with you for putting me in that jar.'"
Exner cleaned them up and, "I've got 'em right in my mouth and that's where they're staying."
The mouse remained at large.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Things Aren't Always As They Appear...
If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, the dots will remain only one color, pink.
However if you stare at the black "+" in the center, the moving dot turns to green.
Now, concentrate on the black "+" in the center of the picture. After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see only a single green dot rotating.
It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see!
However if you stare at the black "+" in the center, the moving dot turns to green.
Now, concentrate on the black "+" in the center of the picture. After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see only a single green dot rotating.
It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see!
Life is hard when you're dead
ROME (UPI) -- An Italian woman who was mistakenly reported dead has won a yearlong battle to have her existence recognized by the government.
Pension agency INPS issued a formal apology to Maria Giuliani and reinstated her into its databank after removing her in January 2006 when another woman by the same name died, ANSA reported Thursday.
"But they only did it because the local media got hold of my case," Giuliani said of the apology.
Giuliani's removal from the databanks caused her pension rights to be revoked and she was removed from municipal and health computers.
"The first I heard about it was the following March when I went for a checkup."
"My GP fell back into his chair and said, 'But you're dead!'
"'No, I'm alive and kicking and I want to be examined,' I said. But he said he couldn't do it because officially I no longer existed."
Giuliani said she's tried to keep her sense of humor through the ordeal. "All you can do is have a good laugh about it, I suppose."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Pension agency INPS issued a formal apology to Maria Giuliani and reinstated her into its databank after removing her in January 2006 when another woman by the same name died, ANSA reported Thursday.
"But they only did it because the local media got hold of my case," Giuliani said of the apology.
Giuliani's removal from the databanks caused her pension rights to be revoked and she was removed from municipal and health computers.
"The first I heard about it was the following March when I went for a checkup."
"My GP fell back into his chair and said, 'But you're dead!'
"'No, I'm alive and kicking and I want to be examined,' I said. But he said he couldn't do it because officially I no longer existed."
Giuliani said she's tried to keep her sense of humor through the ordeal. "All you can do is have a good laugh about it, I suppose."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
Embarrassing Traffic Stop
A police car pulled me over near the high school where I teach. As the officer asked for my license and registration, my students began to drive past. Some honked their horns, others hooted, and still others stopped to admonish me for speeding.
Finally the officer asked me if I was a teacher at the school, and I told him I was.
"I think you've paid your debt to society," he said with a smile, and left without giving me a ticket.
Finally the officer asked me if I was a teacher at the school, and I told him I was.
"I think you've paid your debt to society," he said with a smile, and left without giving me a ticket.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Officer Pushes Skater Into Bushes
I am pretty sure, at least in America, that cops cant just push skaters off walls because there not suppose to be on them. Check out this cop push this dude into off a wall and into some bushes and then try to defend her actions.
Officer Pushes Skater Into Bushes - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
Officer Pushes Skater Into Bushes - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
Sugar for Hiccups?
Hate when you get those darn hiccups that won't go away? Well according to this site, they state that all you need to do is take a teaspoon of sugar & boom it's gone.
Click here to view the page with additional info
Click here to view the page with additional info
Feeling Unappreciated At the Office?
FYI: Click on the picture below if you can read it for full size.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Here's Some Funny Picz I Found On Break.Com
Warn A Brother Shirt
Nice Tan
Sneek Peek
She's a Trooper
Outdoor Urinal
Nerd Alert
New way to smoke
Boo!!!!!!!!
Indian Viagra
Can I get a Long Island IceTea
Accident On The Way Back From Paint Store
Nice Tan
Sneek Peek
She's a Trooper
Outdoor Urinal
Nerd Alert
New way to smoke
Boo!!!!!!!!
Indian Viagra
Can I get a Long Island IceTea
Accident On The Way Back From Paint Store
Drunk Girl Slams Into Bathroom Stall
This girl has had a few too many cocktails and like most people in that state she finds herself waiting in line in a bathroom. Finally when a stall becomes available she makes a mad dash to freedom and ends up slamming her head directly in the stall door.
Drunk Girl Slams Into Bathroom Stall - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
Drunk Girl Slams Into Bathroom Stall - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
To Those of You Not Familiar with Joe Arpaio:
He is the Maricopa, Arizona county sheriff and he keeps getting elected over and over.
This is one of the reasons why:
Sheriff Joe Arpasio was just re-elected sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona.
This is one of the reasons why:
- Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona) who created the "TENT CITY JAIL".
- He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.
- He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails.
- He also took away their weights and cut off all but "G" movies.
- He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.
- He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again.
- However, he only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel.
- When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot it's going to be while they are working on my chain gangs...
- He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.
- When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz /Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."
- He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.
- When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.
- With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix, AZ (116 degrees just set a new record), the associated press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa county jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.
- On a Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before.
- Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks.
- "It feels like we are in a furnace," said James zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It’s inhumane."
- Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic he said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "it's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!
Sheriff Joe Arpasio was just re-elected sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona.
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